Human Values in the Age of Transactional Relationships

Vedabhyas Kundu & Munazah Shah

A little while back, we read an article which stated, ‘Welcome to the new world order. ’ It talked about how values and rules-based order were giving way to transactional world order and how the world was run based on deals. It triggered us to start this conversation on the challenges to practicing human values in a largely transactional world. In the world, when one’s self-aggrandizement and self-interests are becoming primary concerns, transactional relationships tell us how our connections are essentially based on exchange. What will I gain if I do this? This is a question that looms large in most of our minds. Is the spirit of selfless action over? What values am I compromising to get what I want? Let us tread on some of these issues through this conversation. This is a small series we are starting where we will examine human values in this age of commodification. Are human values themselves getting commodified and are seen through the prism of cost-benefit analysis?

Vedabhyas Kundu: Munazah, if you remember, only a few months back, we were talking about how relationships between husband and wife are getting increasingly transactional, where each one demands in return what one does and contributes. The emotional bonding, love, and affection are getting sidetracked in the altar of selfish interests of individuals; this is why we are seeing a surge of divorces around the world. Then, in friendships, companionships, relationships between kith and kin, between different relatives, in workplaces, the list is endless, Munazah where just self-interests rule the roost.

Seeing things through the prism of exchanges of what one gets from the other is not new. Munazah, from time immemorial, we see things as a case of ‘give and take’ or ‘quid pro quo’, it has not evolved suddenly. But what has changed is the evolution of the supremacy of transactional deals even in the most intricate relationships. There can be efforts to balance the ‘give and take’ relationship with some degree of emotional intimacy and authenticity. But today, these are going downhill, while the ‘give and take’ paradigm rules supreme.

Munazah Shah: Yes, Vedabhyas, this is the concern. In the different relationships that you pointed out, we are now actually micromanaging our gains and losses in contemporary times. Let us say in a friendship, even if it has been for years, in the times we are living today, each one will weigh beyond just financial gain, the gains and losses of spending time together, of committing to something, and whether their social image will be enhanced or not because of the friendship. It has become a complex world, and, Vedabhyas, as you pointed out, the significance of emotional intimacy, authenticity, and the sense of our shared humanity seems to be on the decline. In fact, to me, the greatest challenge in this era of transactional relationships is how we nurture fundamental human values and what their place is when everything hinges on deals and transactions.

Vedabhyas Kundu: Munazah, let me share a scenario. There are these two acquaintances who have known each other for several years. One of the individuals needs some help, which could aid in his career. Now, the other person will ponder what benefit he would get by helping this acquaintance. The years of knowing each other, the trust that had developed between them, and the mutual recognition of each other’s abilities have now suddenly been reduced to involving cost-benefit analysis. While this has blurred the line between authentic connection and strategic advantage, this focus on relationships based on cost-benefit analysis is leading to a steady breakdown of social bonds. Further, Munazah, I think there is a loss of intrinsic worth.

In fact, like the case I shared with you, increasingly we find people getting glued to a transactional mindset. I think what we are increasingly witnessing is the commodification of human interactions and human values. A very large number of individuals are now attuned to do cost-benefit analysis of different human values; even these have entered the realm of subjectivity. How much do I gain personally, and whether my self-interest will be protected if I nurture this particular value? This is the question that keeps creeping in when one has developed a transactional mindset.

Munazah Shah: Yes, Vedabhyas, as the transactional mindset leads to commodification of relationships, we find all interactions becoming superficial. We also start evaluating our relationships in terms of utility; there is no genuine connection or engagement. The deep bonds that we can think of in genuine relationships are no longer there.

Don’t you think Vedabhyas that the transactional mindset is actually leading to the objectification of people? To me, it has two dimensions. One, we start treating others as objects, someone who is expected to aid in pursuing my self-interests; it could be at the cost of compromising the dignity of that person. We are ready to maneuver our way, brushing the other person aside. The second dimension entails us marketing ourselves for external validation; this, I think, can be described as self-commodification. All these point to a glaring truth- erosion of values.

Vedabhyas Kundu: Munazah, one of the greatest casualties of the transactional mindset, is the erosion of trust. The spirit of cooperation is no longer there as all start exploring the perceived benefits that they would get from the partnership or alliance. It is in this backdrop that the value of trust gets eroded. The increasing distrust leads to the decline of institutions, whether it is a family or any other organization.

Also, Munazah, just think if you constantly think of doing a cost-benefit analysis of what you are doing with a friend or in your professional work. You just keep thinking about how much you might gain, whether financially, in status, or in any other way, if you collaborate with someone. I am sure sooner or later, you will start feeling stressed and will suffer from anxiety and depression. The focus on external validation that you were talking about and the chase for self-aggrandizement will make us burn out and impact our mental health.

Munazah Shah: Another important aspect of the growing transactional mindset that impacts our relationship is the growing penetration of digital technology in all aspects of our lives. Vedabhyas, we have been talking of commodification of values, relationships, and our own identities. Just think how many of us use social media to actually commodify ourselves and the values that we are trying to practice. Relationships and interactions due to digital technology have become mechanical and superficial which contributes to enhancing our transactional mindsets. Authentic interactions have dwindled, and it has been replaced by a system that is limited in weighing the costs and benefits only.

As we come to the end of this conversation, we realize how important it is to work hard to reclaim our values that reflect our shared humanity. The overwhelming dominance of a transactional mindset is going to take our civilizational ethos further down with the related decay of ethics and morality. There is an inherent need to restore the significance of human interdependence as the defining characteristic that governs our relationships and engagement not only with other human beings, but also with nature and other living systems. It is precisely this reason why we have been underlining the significance of human interdependence literacy as an important life skill today. We sincerely believe that promotion of human interdependence literacy and integration of loving kindness, accountability, mutual care, and deep respect for human dignity into educational curricula, policy, and most importantly in all our daily interactions will definitely help societies to move away from competitive exchanges towards an ecosystem of authentic connection and collective responsibility.